Last week, my boss was telling ANT and i about his lunch at a new buffet just down the road from our worksite. He gave it a 'disappointed' rating due to the blandness in the taste of ALL the foods.
Anyways, he observed as he was heading thru the line that most of the customers in line with him were, to put it nicely, obese. Now, he isn't a Slim Jim either, but the way he described it, he felt like he was being led to the slaughter, like some cow (insert Mooing voice here). Because of this incident, he has decided to go on a diet.
This week, his comments still rang thru my brain, and i came up with a great marketing plan. Sell bumper stickers that say, 'I brake for buffets.' Or 'buffets or bust.' I could make a killing (or get killed).

I hate to post a comment about the commercials we are forced to see and listen to every 10 minutes since, for the most part, they are nothing but cannon fodder for the so-called 'professional stand up comedian.' If you go to a comedy club, nine times out of ten you are going to hear someone start venting about a certain commercial they saw on TV or heard on the radio. However, one commercial has raised the annoyance level another notch recently, in my opinion, and that, dear friends, is Subway.
Consider if you will: The last year or so we were told of a guy named Jared (the original Verizon 'can you hear me now?' type geek), who, by eating nothing but Subway sandwiches, was able to lose one hundred pounds. Then, we were introduced to a variety of other people who did the same thing, the last being a pair of identical twins, who supposedly lost one hundred pounds between the both of them. All for just eating 'nothing but Subway.'
Now, there are a couple of things i have a problem with on these commercials. First, Subway sandwiches are not cheap. Why in the hell would you go there every single day when you could probably save money on the Adkins diet or Weight Watchers? (Remember Nutri-System?) Not to mention the fact that going to the same place every day can get kind of boring after a while.
'Hmm, three o'clock. Time for my daily sub. Hope the crazy girl that works there isn't working today. Don't want her to think i'm showing up there every day because i like her or something.'
Secondly, why in the hell would you go on national television, proclaim you ate nothing but Subway for six months, thereby pissing off your family and your significant other?
'Are you trying to say my food is not good for you? It had wheat germ in it, that's good for you. I wondered why you always told me you weren't hungry and now i have to find out like everyone else in America. You are now cut off from any inheritance. Now take your Subway loving a** out of this house.'
(Yes, my grandmother always put wheat germ in her food, including cookies, thereby proclaiming them 'healthy,' even though they may have had chocolate chips or the candy orange slices in them.)
Now, Subway has rolled out commercials showing someone pigging on pizza or ice cream, and someone else walks by and makes the comment, 'Gee, you're letting yourself go all out now, aren't you?' The muncher replies, 'It's ok, i had Subway for lunch.' Switch the cam back to the first person, and you can see the light bulb above his head flare up like a damn torch. Later we see that same person doing some stupid stunt, such as washing the car while wearing a cheerleading outfit, or scaring a patient with a supposed April Fool prank. That's when they say, 'It's ok, i had Subway for lunch.'
This is definately NOT a good idea. You are going to give someone the wrong impression and use that as an excuse. For example:
Camera in courtroom. Defendant is sitting in the chair answering the prosecution's question.
Prosecutor: Now tell the court your motivation for returning to work and gunning down 10 of your fellow employees.
Defendant: I had Subway earlier that day.
Remember, that excuse will not get you out of the electric chair.

Nothing gets the 'ol adrenaline flowing like waiting five minutes just to cross the effin street. Making matters worse, a produce truck stops in front of my field of vision to see the other lanes, just out of courtesy. So here i am, in the middle of the street, rubbernecking around this dumbass, so i can see if there were any other cars around since i didn't want to play 'tag' with a half ton vehicle. He sits there for about a minute, and though i never saw his face, i'm sure he was getting frustrated because i wasn't taking advantage of his generosity. He didn't see the vehicles in the other lanes coming i guess. Anyway, he finally moved on up, thereby blocking my way across, and so i stood there for another minute or so before it cleared up whereby i could continue my journey to work.